Updated: May 3, 2021
Whoever tells you that multitasking isn’t a thing is sorely mistaken, and I’ll tell you for why – I have single-handedly managed to convince myself that I am simultaneously existing as the baddest of bitches, yet also as a troll who looks more like a potato than a human being. I know, I know; it’s a talent. I’ll be gazing at myself adoringly in the mirror at 11:00, telling myself that natural beauty has never been so apparent in a person, and then promptly at 11:06, I’ll be looking into the same mirror telling myself that I bear an alarming resemblance to a Colorado river toad (it’s the eyes).
I know what you’re thinking – Hannah, this is a remarkable skill, that must have taken years and years of training, however did you master such a talent? Well, unlike like Lady Gaga, I wasn't born this way. We are indoctrinated with images of girls who have perfect skin, zero pores, and noses that are structurally flawless; in other words, an unattainable standard of beauty. 11:00 Hannah is the dream; 11:00 Hannah is what we aim for and 11:00 Hannah is who we want. However the reality is usually 11:06 Hannah, brought on by a decade of comparing herself to face-tuned, photo-shopped society, who the algorithms will always put at the top of her feed. 11:06 Hannah hates her genetics for making her this way, although even she knows that it’s not something she could ever try to control.
The body standards put on women are nightmarish – not only are they completely unrealistic for 99% of the population, but they’re also massively ethnocentric and lacking in diversity. We know this and we try to reason with ourselves, try to tell ourselves that we’re better than that, we can love ourselves, and we will love ourselves, and then Julia Roberts floats onto our screen in a pool of gold with 19 chiseled gods looking down on her in adoration, and our dreams wither and die.
This is what we must overcome. Realistically, 11:00 Hannah would be an absolute arse to be around all the time – there’s confident and then there’s confident. So maybe we compromise; we aim for 11:00 but know that if we don’t get there that is okay, we don’t want to get there. We tick down the minutes from 11:06 – we meet in the middle at 11:03, and we are happy with that. Personally, I’m aiming for 11:05 by next month, but no matter what time your clock is reading at, wind it back to the times you felt confident– you deserve to like yourself. 😊
Written by Hannah Scott