Losing my job and other such foundation-cracking activities

One of my objectives when I first started writing for K2M is to shine a light on men's health and how it is often downplayed or hidden in shadows.

To give advice from the perspective of a bloke who has experienced it - in the trenches - if you will.

I would like to share and recount my experience of recently losing my job,

to have something snatched from me which I thought was secure.

I first started this job as a freelancer, something to keep me busy whilst I looked for something better. As fate would have it, I was adept at this job, bringing professionalism and flair to the position, this resulted in me being kept on for three more years.

Cut a long story short: I wanted to take up more responsibility in this company and enrolled in their “official” internship process for a year.

This was a trialing period: as covid took over our daily lives and forced us into two lockdowns some elements of the internship was delayed and subsequently rushed.

This didn't matter to me because I fell in love with the process of growth. The promise of something greater kept me hanging on: a job, with a contract, no less!

We persevered.

The review day finally came: the day I was to sit down with all the directors in order to be given feedback. This was it: the moment of stability I had been patiently waiting for.

The heavens will open and an angelic chorus will ensue.

No.

The feedback was kurt

“We can’t take a risk on you, so you will not be proceeding beyond the internship”

I was speechless. What a blow.

“Also if you could hand in your keys, soon that would be great”

Not only had I not completed the internship but I was losing my “day job”.

“Have you got any feedback for us”?

Needless to say I buttoned it.

The phrase rabbit in headlights comes to mind.

All the 5am starts, long nights, anxiety of meetings & presentations, the eulation of doing a task well, the laughter in the office. The carpet had been well and truly ripped out from underneath me.

Recounting this story still cuts close to the bone: I loved my job, I enjoyed the work environment and the people in it.

I want to offer some advice to men and women who have lost their jobs unexpectedly:

• Your job is not your sense of worth

- If you are like me, lucky to have a job you enjoyed, a massive part of yourself might feel like it has been ripped out. Remember you are a 3D human, with hopes, dreams, loves and you are more than your job title.

• You will find something else - start now!

- My advice would be to start looking for something as soon as possible: maybe even before you have had time to process it. This might sound counterintuitive but the hunt for a new job will occupy you and start a new good habit before bad ones have a chance to take hold. Apply for everything: yes, even the job you think is “below” you.

Get interviews, get back into the swing of things. This is good preoccupation and better distraction.

• You aren’t useless or a failure

- Jobs are infinitely complex: companies go bust, they have internal politics. There are so many moving parts to losing a job that sometimes it can feel like you have failed yourself or the company.

You haven’t.

You also may have to come to terms that you may not even know the full story. This is ok but assuming that it was all your fault is not.

• Objectively reflect on the experience

- What could they have done better? What could you have done better? When you are ready: explore what you know. Don’t rehash the scenario in your mind, look objectively at what happened and Identify what were the warning signs leading up to the dismissal. Looking at it positively you now have experience in what you expect from a job and can set boundaries with the next position.

If you have lost your job, the pain and emotions you are feeling right now are valid and it's natural to feel this way.

I hope these tips are helpful: it has been a steep learning curve for me but I want to share this advice for those who may be going through the same thing.