February.
I cannot express how ecstatic I am for spring. There is a jumpy excitement in my chest when I think about the clear blue skies and daffodils, accompanied by the soon to be BBQ's and Easter festivities. And you know what? It is just around the corner.
In England, we are currently in what most people are referring to as Lockdown 3.0. I don't really feel the need for a decimal point as there has never been a Lockdown 1.5 or 0.33 recurring. But I'm going with the majority on this one. I haven't fortunately been too negatively affected by the previous lockdown's. The first lockdown came at a time when a break was welcome and I was focusing on my recovery. It gave me a solid 6 months to get my priorities back in order and put my attention solely on my emotional wellbeing. Then by the second lockdown the novelty had worn off and I was back at work again. Now it is the third and I just really can't be bothered by it anymore. I want to do things. I want to see my family. I want to have something in the diary each week to look forward that isn't just a tequila and tonic on a Friday at 5 pm. I have also found that I'm experiencing a lot more anxiety about going to work. For those of you who are unaware, I work in a forensic mental health hospital as a support assistant. When the only thing to break up the days at home is going to work, that day out feels huge. Going to work becomes this big event in my head that hangs over me until I leave the front door in the morning to drive there. And it wasn't until a few weeks ago I realised how much lockdown was affecting my work anxiety. I love my job and there isn't really anything I am anxious about. But when there are no other social and enjoyable trips out each week, a day at work really stands out. The louder it seems and therefore the louder the anxiety sounds. But with Spring around the corner I have been able to appreciate and look forward to things each week and balance out my days at work with smaller events. Daffodil buds are poking out of the soil opposite my house. Snowdrops are still in show along the canal. The sky is a clear and flush blue as I write this now. Sometimes I feel a bit silly being so enthusiastic about nature. But just like with work, when there's little else in life to focus on, the smaller things seem much greater.
The image above is taken from a book by Emma Mitchell called The Wild Remedy. I'd recommend it to anyone who feels that seasons, weather, nature and the intriguing wilderness has any effect on their emotions. The Wild Remedy