Maid Corbic
Feb 96 min
Trigger Warning: Depressive Thoughts
This post was written by a contributor in their second language.
I still remember my steps when I was a little boy and I dreamed that people were so good.
I never thought that people could be so bad with evil tongues and that I could never understand that people could not understand each other. I was just looking for love to give to everyone, but it was so difficult when I could never understand the world around me. I still remember my steps in the past when I was only looking for love and hope, and I got war and pain at the bottom of my soul. And I don’t think it’s down to me, as much as it’s up to the people themselves who created a schism in the system in me, but I hoped that still in the bottom of my soul, it could be something better. It had to be, but with sadness and pain in my heart, I would still look for hope and the meaning of life in something small. But yes, people say that my problem is dementia, times have become very bad for everyone around me. And I was never truly happy, even during my stay in the area, often lonely and lonely in large numbers. Being alone is certainly a very difficult thing. And I was just looking for a gram of human attention in all of this, but it’s so hard when you’re alone.
And it seemed to me that every spring I was reminded of the bad people around me, but I
I didn't want to give up easily just because I was a boy full of hopes and dreams. I just wanted people to understand that my solution is not to commit suicide, which I often wanted to do, but only that people recognize me and appreciate my way of thinking. But no, they only chose to make my life difficult and make me feel ugly and hopeless at every moment. Although I was a dreamer, I could never dream of a skillfully tailored life when others around me could not create a good life and a good destiny. I think that love is what we all need to move, but it’s really hard when I’m limited to bad people around me. I was looking for a solution to everything, but I couldn’t manage it at all.
I looked at all those glades and all those people who were becoming so happy while I was still crying like rain just because I don’t have what they all have, a better life. I tried to hide my pain, while inside my head only wanted peace, and my heart only wanted to be accepted by everyone. And I never understood the people who told me that everything would be fine, when in fact it was never like that. They just wanted to create gloomy thoughts and gloomy words for me, because I am a young person who is ready to share my life with others around me. And I was still a man who needed to dream about his life and not surrender lightly to others around him, even though it was difficult. I had to move on, while the pain in my soul due to non-acceptance created thoughts of suicide. And I still sometimes think about it just because I'm not like others who are wealthy, have girlfriends and boyfriends, and have life as if created on a plate, while I have to suffer almost every day.
I wasn’t anyone’s favorite person, but all that changed one day when I left my schooling, started to erase the people around me with an eraser, and started to understand that my reason for living is hope, the silence in the four walls became the word of truth that I wanted to show others that at the end of everything, to show people that being different is not as much of a problem as everyone thinks. I tried to show people that my words and thoughts can be different and that at the end of it all I consider myself a winner. I started very quickly to hang out with others around me, quality companies that just wanted me to be who I am without a tire, and any other things that made me think like them. Over the years, I realized that I am just like everyone else and that there is no need to be ashamed of anyone or anything. Because I\m just an ordinary man who just asks for a little respect, but that respect was never given to him, not just because he’s different from everyone
around him. I am still trying to smooth out my relationship with myself, because I am just another part of existence who, like everyone else, is only not accepted in the company of many because of my differences, which made me think of various things.
The strength in my veins was somewhere when I realized that my life is beautiful when I create it with those people who need it and have it by my side. My parents were always there for me and I believe that they are responsible for everything I am today. I certainly think that my theory, which I once developed in my head, is now much clearer and much better. It certainly seems to me that I didn't understand myself in my world, but that I had to move forward because my life was forcing me to move forward. From being a depressed person, I started looking for strength in others around me, but I could never find it. My parents often said that my mental health would eventually go away if I didn't think about myself and the problems I had. The road has always been difficult, but my strength, which I carry within me, is only a part of my soul, a part of the reason for feeling, which is necessary for my belief in a better tomorrow. I have always told myself that all that is needed is love to be given to me and not the restlessness in the bottom of my soul that many people have given me so shamelessly and without understanding.
My strength was strong enough that I began to understand that my life began to make sense when I began to ignore people around me. I believed that it was the beginning of something completely new and that I could be a better version of my dream and my existence in my segment of life. I have always said that my love for others around me must be much better, much more unique. I always try to show people that my mental health is not an obstacle to others about food, but only the hope that one day they can be people just like me, full of faith and uniqueness that they carry within themselves. The strength I found is in my parents, who always gave me unity and strength, which is much needed for everything that awaits me for the rest of my life. I've always believed that my journey is a strength when everyone leaves to dedicate time to myself and to always think about some other galaxies and other things that I used to often only be able to dream about.
Faith for me is when I understand what life is. Hope is always there for me to believe in a better tomorrow and to never surrender to every challenge that follows me. I have to be strong and direct my strength to others around me because that's the only way I can be the winner of every story I've always wanted to build. I knew that I could always be a winner at any moment, I just had to know where to start and even though the beginning is difficult, I believe that my hope leads me to never be alone and that I always have the right people around me who will guide me in what is very necessary. Success only depends on what is given, which is faith and hope that everything is not as strange and terrible as it seems. I found faith in spirituality and prayers, which are very necessary for me as a young person, and I have never regretted it, because being happy today means being different from the majority, and that makes me happy because even though I still have some problems in my life, I am aware that happiness mine is greatest when I'm happy with myself and away from people. I am grateful to God that I am certainly still steadfast in life even though I was once rejected!