Men, Is It Time To Talk?

Men – your mental health matters.

Approximately 1 in 4 people will experience and mental health challenge each year. Men are less likely to access psychological therapies compared with women. Furthermore, suicide is the biggest cause of death for men under 35, with three quarters of suicides attributed to males according to the latest ONS data.

But things don’t have to be this way. Support is out there in many forms for men, including Mentell (www.mentell.org.uk) which is a national charity providing physical and online circles for men, aged 18+ to talk in a safe and confidential space, free from advice, judgement and commitment.

But first, let me tell you a little about me and my journey with mental health. Three years ago in the midst of lockdown, my personal life began crumbling away and just a year later, everything fell apart to the point of total collapse. Everything that was happening in a wider context didn’t seem right at all. I was working in a demanding full time job and part way through working towards my MBA at the time. I am a naturally inquisitive thinker and so I questioned a lot of things going on. If something doesn’t make sense to me, then I’ll ask questions until it does – it’s just the way that my brain functions!

Slowly but surely over time, relationships with friends and family alike disintegrated to the point where I felt that I couldn’t talk anymore. At all. I kept everything inside, because if I opened my mouth then someone would advise me to do something, or I’d be judged for asking a question or expressing an opinion, sending me further down the spiral. The banter felt vicious. The advice felt judgmental. The loneliness and the isolation then set in. My physical, mental and emotional health were worsening as each day passed. There were days were I wouldn’t log on to work (working from home) until late morning. Instead I would just walk. Walking somewhere, anywhere, asking myself why was this happening? Why does no-one else see this things? Why are the people I knew and loved for so long acting this way towards me? Walking to try and rid myself of these thoughts, feelings and emotions. And then the next question… what would happen if I walked to the train station and never came back?

No.

The voice in my head said no. And so here I am now, with you reading this article. I am still here.

But what if others are in similar circumstance and don’t have that voice in their head telling them no? What if, like me they have no one else around them to talk to? Without being judged.

Well, they do. Charities like Mentell, who are recognized and funded by NHS England as a national suicide prevention service, can provide that space where we are not judged or advised for speaking about how we feel, share our emotions, being frank about what’s going on in our lives. There is nothing shameful or ‘unmanly’ about that.

We all have the solutions to our own challenges within ourselves. We just need the space to explore it and find it. The service is completely free, running every Monday night 7-9pm with no waiting list. No referral is needed. You can sign up as a member on the website today and be in a circle within a week: https://www.mentell.org.uk/signup

And so, to my fellow men, is it time to talk?

References:

https://www.ons.gov.uk/peoplepopulationandcommunity/birthsdeathsandmarriages/deaths/bulletins/suicidesintheunitedkingdom/2021registrations